April 18th, 2013

David Aussie mag

Getting To Know You: late night musings

What gets you through hard times?  We've all had them, some of us are in them right now.

Ten years ago, I would have said without a doubt it was my faith in God.  Not really trusting Him/Her these days.  Now?  Laughter.  I dig until I can find something to make me laugh.  Tears.  I let myself cry, and I come from a family in which crying wasn't allowed, so allowing myself to cry is very freeing.  Music.   My home has 6 rooms & a bathroom.  I have either a stereo or an internet radio in every room, including the bathroom.  Time.  When the darkness comes, I keep telling myself it'll pass, even if it doesn't feel like it will (it always does).  The cats.  When I cry, Neon crawls up my chest to rub against my face.  Stubbornness.  Even when I want to give up, I can't.  There is something inside of me that will not let go.  A hot shower.  The absolute, positive, glorious joy of knowing I can go in there and take one any time I want, for as long as I want, and I have a remote control to the radio in there.  Spike.  There are days in which talking with her is the best part of my day.  Reading.  When I'm sad, I can find comfort by losing myself within the characters in a good book.  Or zine.  Or fic.  You guys.  Okay, I know you're "internet friends" and you're not supposed to be "real friends", but I can be myself more around you than I can in real life (ain't nobody, AND I MEAN NOBODY here who knows I'm in fandom, no one ever did except Ron).  You are kind enough to not ridicule me and you have been every bit as supportive of me during the past 5 years as the people I've worked with for the past 13 years. (and, thanks for that, incidentally),  I'm proud of myself that I don't use alcohol, or food, or overspending to numb myself.  Hard times suck, but the things I've mentioned get me through.

So....what works for you?